Lord, please help me! Every time I hear her name or her voice I just want to bury my face in a pillow and scream. And if that isn’t the dynamite that gets my bomb ticking, actually seeing her face is the spark that lights my fuse. God, I just hate her! And I know it goes against everything You teach us, but I just can’t let go of the past and what she did to me. Help me Lord! Help me to truly understand the concept of “letting go and letting God”.

As you are reading this, does any of this sound familiar—perhaps just a little too hauntingly familiar? In my book What’s Your Anger Type for Christians, I identify 12 of the most common types of anger individuals possess. I offer a questionnaire to help readers identify their own types. Take a couple of minutes and honestly think about these 3 statements, using one of these 4 answers as your response; Always, Too Often, Sometimes or Maybe…
• I tend to relive the wrongs people have done to me over and over in my head. I just can’t shake these thoughts!
• Forgiving others who have wronged me is very difficult. I just can’t seem to forgive and forget.
• When I get angry I stay angry for a long time. It’s just so hard to let it go.

How did you do? If you are in the “always” or “too often” categories, you have what I call Petrified anger! “What is petrified anger?” you ask. It is the type of anger which keeps you emotionally, spiritually and even physically shackled. It is holding onto the wrongs done to you by others. It is the reliving of them whenever you think about, or see the person you perceive as having wronged you. You need to let go and let God! You need to apply His words, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-7). If not, your life is truly in a state of emotional turmoil

Did you know that holding onto anger and not forgiving others is not only unhealthy spiritually and emotionally, but also harms the physical body? Possessing petrified anger over a prolonged period of time can lead to; bitterness, flashbacks, depression, anxiety, nausea/vomiting, insomnia, constant worrying, irritability, increased alcohol/drug consumption, bodily aches and pains, high blood pressure and increased heart rate. Does this sound like emotional and spiritual freedom to you? Heck no! This is being a prisoner to your emotions—Past aggressions which are flourishing in your present life.

Did you know that most of the time the person you have the “issues” with have forgotten about what happened and moved on? You’re usually the only one locked onto the past,trying to get retribution and exact “righteousness of the flesh” instead of turning the situation over to God. The Lord tells us to let it go. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil (Psalm 37:8).

Perhaps the best advice is “Get over it!” God gets over our past transgressions and wipes the slate clean when we seek forgiveness. Why can’t you? Is your ego getting in the way? If so, you need to ask God for forgiveness and truly in your heart forgive the person who wronged you. Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you (Proverbs 20:22). God’s promises are eternal. Just ask him and he will fix your heart and renew the spirit of your mind. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:29-32).

At the end of the day it’s you who has to live with yourself. You get to decide whether you want to hold onto your anger and be a prisoner to your “self-righteousness”, or you get to shake the shackles loose and embrace freedom! Why not reach to the heaven’s and savor the fruits of the spirit remembering that; Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).